crush

Post by ThePuttKing
I seem to be falling for another woman at work. She is very pretty,
sexy and I am thinking about quite alot. It's the first time in ages
and all the old feelings are coming back. I used to have crushes all
the time and they made me feel very miserable.
This time is slightly different. I have no expectations. I know what I
look like and the chances that this pretty woman likes me is basically
none. However she is quite a flirt and I have no problems giving it
back. I also tell people that I like her. I do mainly it because it
gets a laugh. Other staff make jokes and say things out loud in front
of this woman. It doesn't really bother me. (or her) They refer to her
as 'your bird', things like that.
I can't believe she is single but she seems to be. I have noticed that
when she is talking about her life and she mentions somebody, she
tells me who they are. For example, she is watching tv with somebody
called Michael and she would tell me , 'oh that's my sisters son' etc,
etc.
They are alot of rumours the Manager is screwing her but I don't
believe them. Even though I reckon he probably wants to.
Anyway it's like the old days, I'm imagining asking her out or her
asking me out (lol), I'm thinking about what a first date would be
like. And then I get grumpy and tell myself to 'get real' because it
will never happen.

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.

I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.

Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

catpandaddy

2010-08-18 20:46:26 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.

ThePuttKing

2010-08-18 21:13:50 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Thanks. Any more advice ?

catpandaddy

2010-08-18 22:33:52 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Thanks. Any more advice ?

Any more would just contribute to overthinking things!

ThePuttKing

2010-08-19 15:24:09 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Thanks. Any more advice ?

Any more would just contribute to overthinking things!- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

She's got a bloke anyway. An ex with a flash car. I overheard this
from two staff talking. Also she is leaving in a few months according
to someone else. Not that bothered to be honest. I think the days of
me been upset are gone. She is fantastic eye candy though !

ThePuttKing

2010-08-19 15:31:45 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Thanks. Any more advice ?

Any more would just contribute to overthinking things!- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Just read about him (thru facebook). He looks a muck and muscle type,
tattoes, drinker, manual work. A few drugs references.

Pumpkinhead

2010-08-19 20:26:35 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
Just read about him (thru facebook). He looks a muck and muscle type,
tattoes, drinker, manual work. A few drugs references.

Is he actually "in a relationship with" her on Facebook? It's good that you
found out anyway.

ThePuttKing

2010-08-20 18:12:56 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
Just read about him (thru facebook). He looks a muck and muscle type,
tattoes, drinker, manual work. A few drugs references.

Is he actually "in a relationship with" her on Facebook? It's good that you
found out anyway.

She was in a relationship with him early part of the year. She moved
in with him. It lasted about a month. Now she lives with her sister.
This bloke seems to live in another city. Found out lots on facebook
to be honest. He asked her somewhere. Left messages like 'Are you
coming babe ?' - something like that. She left work dressed up, so she
probably went somewhere with him. Today she told me she had had a very
stressfull night. I didn't ask what happened though.

freckled salamander

2010-08-27 02:54:10 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
Just read about him (thru facebook). He looks a muck and muscle type,
tattoes, drinker, manual work. A few drugs references.

please tell me he picks his nose & has a nipple-ring

B-|

Sicklee

2010-08-19 16:56:51 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Thanks. Any more advice ?

Any more would just contribute to overthinking things!- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Are you sort of relieved in a strange way?

ThePuttKing

2010-08-19 19:13:28 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.

One piece of advice... don't overthink things.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Thanks. Any more advice ?

Any more would just contribute to overthinking things!- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Are you sort of relieved in a strange way?- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Not really. If she had stayed single, I wouldn't have had the courage
to do anything. Nothing have changed. I can still eye her up when she
isn't looking.

Bernd Jendrissek

2010-08-20 10:14:37 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
Not really. If she had stayed single, I wouldn't have had the courage
to do anything. Nothing have changed. I can still eye her up when she
isn't looking.

You can also eye her up when she is looking.

This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

ThePuttKing

2010-08-20 18:18:57 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
Not really. If she had stayed single, I wouldn't have had the courage
to do anything. Nothing have changed. I can still eye her up when she
isn't looking.

You can also eye her up when she is looking.
This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

Today I tried to keep my distance from her but I ended up talking to
her quite alot. It was a good laugh today. The grumpy manager wasn't
about so we had a good laugh. Talked about allsorts. She even took an
interest in my golf swing.

ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

Bernd Jendrissek

2010-08-22 10:18:50 UTC

Post by Bernd Jendrissek
This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
Today I tried to keep my distance from her but I ended up talking to
her quite alot. It was a good laugh today. The grumpy manager wasn't
about so we had a good laugh. Talked about allsorts. She even took an
interest in my golf swing.

For what it's worth I think you're selling yourself short. But in
either case, consider that a woman this attractive finds you radar-
worthy enough to flirt with you and banter / play the fool etc. This
should be good news to you, even if this particular play doesn't work
out.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

ThePuttKing

2010-08-22 19:04:29 UTC

Post by Bernd Jendrissek
This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

She's just logged off facebook the second I logged on. Coincedance ??
I don't think so ?

ThePuttKing

2010-08-23 21:46:58 UTC

Post by Bernd Jendrissek
This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

ThePuttKing

2010-08-23 21:51:54 UTC

Post by Bernd Jendrissek
This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

It's just a feeling of complete and utter worthlessness. I don't feel
good enough to interact with her on facebook. What is the worst thing
that could happen if I sent a message on facebook ? She ignores it !
Big deal ! Then why can't I send something ? If I get the shakes
thinking about writing a message then what chance have I got asking
her (or anybody) out on a date ?

catpandaddy

2010-08-23 22:43:17 UTC

This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

I'm kidding myself I can do anything. She was on facebook a few
minutes ago. I was going to send her a message but I couldn't do it. I
felt sick with nerves and panic just sending a sodding message. No
words can change how I feel !- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
It's just a feeling of complete and utter worthlessness. I don't feel
good enough to interact with her on facebook. What is the worst thing
that could happen if I sent a message on facebook ? She ignores it !
Big deal ! Then why can't I send something ? If I get the shakes
thinking about writing a message then what chance have I got asking
her (or anybody) out on a date ?

It's an anxiety condition, pretty clearly. I've had clinical anxiety all my
life, and the good news is that there is some good progress starting to be
made in treating anxiety-spectrum conditions. Do you have a place where you
can do an intake assessment for something like this?

ThePuttKing

2010-08-24 10:31:48 UTC

This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

I agree I have problems but it doesn't really effect my everyday
normal life. I suppose I could look up some councelling somewhere. It
seems a bit embarrassing though if the person asked me what was the
matter and I replied I have no confidence with women. I wonder if
people specialize in that ?

Curse Of Millhaven

2010-08-24 16:13:10 UTC

This whole thread makes me sad. "It's all bullshit."

Don't be sad. It isn't making me unhappy.

I wasn't really referring to your situation itself, but to this thread
in response to it.

Post by ThePuttKing
ps bernd - since your facebook friends with me, you could take a
sneeky look at her. I don't have that many friends on there. Her first
name is Lisa.

I love few things more than stalking friends of friends, but about a
week ago I decided to can my farcebook. Thanks for the offer
though. :)

Confidence from ability and accomplishments. Not much anyone else can
do to help you with it.

Sicklee

2010-08-25 17:41:22 UTC

I'd recommend counselling if you want some smartarse try to tell you
nothing's wrong, when you have 20-odd years of life experience to
dispute that.

ThePuttKing

2010-08-25 19:22:43 UTC

Post by Sicklee
I'd recommend counselling if you want some smartarse try to tell you
nothing's wrong, when you have 20-odd years of life experience to
dispute that.

I would never pay for any counselling anyway.

Saw her today and told her she looked nice. (She had jeans and a white
top on). I didn't feel nervous saying it. I didn't hesitate, just said
it easy as anything. So I am not completely useless with women. I can
talk to them and pay compliments. It's just some things I have
problems doing.

catpandaddy

2010-08-25 20:05:55 UTC

Post by Sicklee
I'd recommend counselling if you want some smartarse try to tell you
nothing's wrong, when you have 20-odd years of life experience to
dispute that.

I would never pay for any counselling anyway.

Free counselling is worth what you pay for it.

Pumpkinhead

2010-08-23 22:59:47 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
I'm kidding myself I can do anything. She was on facebook a few
minutes ago. I was going to send her a message but I couldn't do it. I
felt sick with nerves and panic just sending a sodding message. No
words can change how I feel !- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

That's how it generally goes with me.

ThePuttKing

2010-08-24 10:39:32 UTC

That's how it generally goes with me.

Well yes. Before the internet I thought I was alone. Obviously now
there is a small group of us who have these problems. It seems I have
problems with the actual asking a woman out. I am not quiet or shy
around women. I can flirt, chat to them, I don't get even slightly
nervous doing that. Yet when I thought about writing a message last
night I got very nervous. Overall I don't tend to initiate chats on
facebook with women, I always wait for them. I find my comments get
little attention where others seem to get loads. They type one thing
and get 10 or so comments.

Regarding this woman, it's daft what I'm going through. Because I can
flirt with her and say things that are 'near the knuckle' and not
feel the slightest bit nervous. I tell people I like her. Yet when I
tried to take up a notch and write a message to her outside of work, I
couldn't do it. It seemed too big a step for me.

freckled salamander

2010-08-27 02:31:33 UTC

Post by catpandaddy
One piece of advice... don't overthink things.

thinking is fatal
B-)

ThePuttKing

2010-08-31 21:29:25 UTC

Today I thought I would cool things down a bit because liking this
woman will only bring me misery. But it was impossible. She smiled at
me, said 'hi' and asked me how I was etc. She is so pretty and bright.
The thing is alot of other men will think the same. I don't buy for a
second she is single. I'm facebook friends with her and it's quite
obvious she's got men in her life. I reckon she goes from one to
another when she feels like it.
I can't see her and the Manager getting it on though. They were
shouting at each other in the warehouse this afternoon. It was very
ugly. He is such a prick and then she said something back so he
shouted 'what was that ?' - it was awfull really. I left the warehouse
straight away.
Don't know what she thinks of me. Maybe she see's me as an harmless
guy who she works with. There are other men at work and she doesn't
talk to them like she does me. I have noticed that.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

An interesting update. In the works canteen today I saw a notice for a
21st birthday party for one of women. It's in October and there is a
list of people going. The woman I'm interested in has put her name
down. I suppose it could be a good way of getting to know her better.

Of course I'm not going. I have an hatred for social gatherings. The
last time I went to one was about 4 years ago. It was terrible. I was
only there for 2 hours or so and while the first 30 minutes was okay,
it soon went downhill. While I was trying to have interesting
conversations, all the others were keen on getting as drunk as
possible and acting daft. I spend about 15 minutes without speaking
and nobody bothered to talk to me so I said goodbye to the lady who's
leaving party it was and buggered off. I don't think anybody noticed.

What will be interesting is if this woman asks me if I'm going. Shall
I tell her the truth ? (I hate parties !) or make up some other
excuse. I have thought about making up some bullshit about having a
disorder or something. Maybe I could her I have a phobia for crowded
places and it starts off panic attacks.

Sadi

2010-09-01 17:19:08 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:29:25 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

Post by ThePuttKing
An interesting update. In the works canteen today I saw a notice for
a 21st birthday party for one of women. It's in October and there is
a list of people going. The woman I'm interested in has put her name
down. I suppose it could be a good way of getting to know her
better.

<snip>

Is this party taking place OUTSIDE of the office? If YES, why would
you go? Aren't you like 40, or something? A 40-year-old man wanting
to go to a birthday party for a 21 year-old female co-worker he's not
good friends with is weird, sorry.

People go to birthday parties to help the birthday girl/guy
celebrate. Any female will find your attendance creepy, unless you're
very good friends with the person celebrating.

Post by ThePuttKing
What will be interesting is if this woman asks me if I'm going.
Shall I tell her the truth ?

She's not going to ask. And if she does ask it's because she's
curious why a 40 year-old male wants to go to a party for a 21
year-old female co-worker he's not friends with. Translation: She
finds it creepy. The only "truth" is that you want to get to know HER
better, which is even MORE creepy that you're not up-front about it.

Here's the deal for you and other guys interested in a particular
woman. You need to act IMMEDIATELY! A week or two later AT THE MOST.
You don't ask a woman out you've worked with or know MONTHS later.
When you see some mutual interests and attraction ask her out RIGHT
AWAY. The key in everyday conversation with others is to pick up on
any mutual sparks/interest. No sparks from her? Don't bother, she's
not interested.

Most shy guys misinterpret signals. Just because a woman talks to you
doesn't mean she's interested in you THAT WAY. She's just being
friendly. Friendly does not equal interest. If the woman is shy, too
and is actually interested in you, then she'll be coy about it. But,
you'll always know. If you don't know then she's not interested.

Us women don't understand when someone we're obviously not interested
in asks us out. We didn't send them any signals. We're just TALKING
to you. People TALK to each other all the time. Just being friendly.
Learn to interpret FRIEND signals vs (potential) LOVER signals.

Any guy we've been friendly with for a while suddenly asking us out
gets a NO. Why? Because we're not interested. We NEVER were
interested. Why didn't you see that? If we were interested you'd
know. If you don't know then you're clueless. No woman wants to be
with a clueless guy, it's bad for the relationship because you won't
be able to pick up on our feelings. All us women want a guy who's in
touch with OUR feelings. If you can't even tell when we're interested
in you, then you'll never get when we're upset, mad, etc.

And you guys always pick young, hot girls, complaining that regular
girls aren't attractive enough for you. But for many of you, you're
not hot in THEIR eyes, either. An 8+ girl will ONLY be interested in
a 5- guy if they have a fabulous personality, great sense of humor
and are confident. And for some girls, money. But girls who are only
interested in a guy for his money are superficial anyway, so why
would you want to be with them? For sex? Really?!

An 8+ girl isn't going to be interested in a 5- guy just for sex.
People are sexually attracted to those who look like them,
ratings-wise.

Many of you have complained that even an "ugly girl" can get a hot
guy for sex. Well, a 5- girl isn't going to get an 8+ guy for sex --
unless he's been turned down and rejected that night by all the 8+
girls he's already hit on. Sorry, it's reality.

If you're a 5- then only a girl 5- will go out with you -- unless you
have that truly fab personality, as indicated above. I'm an 8 and
I've gone out with both short and ugly guys that rate in my opinion a
3. Why? Because they had fabulous personalities! If you're looking
for a RELATIONSHIP then you really don't care what someone looks
like. If you're only looking for sex then be honest -- a 5- guy isn't
going to attract sexually 8+ girls, and vice-versa.

A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS
SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE. If she thinks you're not attractive enough
for her -- and she's a 5- -- then she's as delusional as you are.

Now stop complaining and go out and find yourself a nice,
average-looking girl in your age range who likes the same things you
do. She's just as lonely and attention-starved as you are.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTH6K/BHSUETdEJzmEQJHiQCfYsziHIPtjxiU8gEBE3wuGSN+QcAAoPpk
eWSOlllupKk6s7W2NkK0djSt
=0bSn
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

ThePuttKing

2010-09-01 18:13:19 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:29:25 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

Post by ThePuttKing
a 21st birthday party for one of women. It's in October and there is
a list of people going. The woman I'm interested in has put her name
down. I suppose it could be a good way of getting to know her
better.

It's a works party and everybody is invited. It says that on the
notice. I reckon the deputy manager and also the manager may go. They
are older than me.

Post by Sadi
People go to birthday parties to help the birthday girl/guy
celebrate. Any female will find your attendance creepy, unless you're
very good friends with the person celebrating.

Don't see how it's creepy. Even though I'm not good friends with her.
I think all sorts of ages will go, her parents etc, etc. Don't think
it will be a young person's event.

Post by ThePuttKing
What will be interesting is if this woman asks me if I'm going.
Shall I tell her the truth ?

I haven't put my name down and I don't intend going. I thought I made
that clear. In previous occasions, people have always asked me why I'm
not going. They want me to go. And they are disapointed when I don't.

I can tell she's not interested but it doesn't stop me finding her
attractive.

Post by Sadi
Most shy guys misinterpret signals. Just because a woman talks to you
doesn't mean she's interested in you THAT WAY. She's just being
friendly. Friendly does not equal interest. If the woman is shy, too
and is actually interested in you, then she'll be coy about it. But,
you'll always know. If you don't know then she's not interested.

I know that now. Didn't when I was 20 or so.

Post by Sadi
Us women don't understand when someone we're obviously not interested
in asks us out. We didn't send them any signals. We're just TALKING
to you. People TALK to each other all the time. Just being friendly.
Learn to interpret FRIEND signals vs (potential) LOVER signals.
Any guy we've been friendly with for a while suddenly asking us out
gets a NO. Why? Because we're not interested. We NEVER were
interested. Why didn't you see that? If we were interested you'd
know. If you don't know then you're clueless. No woman wants to be
with a clueless guy, it's bad for the relationship because you won't
be able to pick up on our feelings. All us women want a guy who's in
touch with OUR feelings. If you can't even tell when we're interested
in you, then you'll never get when we're upset, mad, etc.
And you guys always pick young, hot girls, complaining that regular
girls aren't attractive enough for you. But for many of you, you're
not hot in THEIR eyes, either. An 8+ girl will ONLY be interested in
a 5- guy if they have a fabulous personality, great sense of humor
and are confident. And for some girls, money. But girls who are only
interested in a guy for his money are superficial anyway, so why
would you want to be with them? For sex? Really?!
An 8+ girl isn't going to be interested in a 5- guy just for sex.
People are sexually attracted to those who look like them,
ratings-wise.
Many of you have complained that even an "ugly girl" can get a hot
guy for sex. Well, a 5- girl isn't going to get an 8+ guy for sex --
unless he's been turned down and rejected that night by all the 8+
girls he's already hit on. Sorry, it's reality.
If you're a 5- then only a girl 5- will go out with you -- unless you
have that truly fab personality, as indicated above. I'm an 8 and
I've gone out with both short and ugly guys that rate in my opinion a
3. Why? Because they had fabulous personalities! If you're looking
for a RELATIONSHIP then you really don't care what someone looks
like. If you're only looking for sex then be honest -- a 5- guy isn't
going to attract sexually 8+ girls, and vice-versa.
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS
SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE. If she thinks you're not attractive enough
for her -- and she's a 5- -- then she's as delusional as you are.
Now stop complaining and go out and find yourself a nice,
average-looking girl in your age range who likes the same things you
do. She's just as lonely and attention-starved as you are.

I gave up because I am an ugly twat with no qualities. I'm not blind
to the fact women don't find me attracive. It's obvious.

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTH6K/BHSUETdEJzmEQJHiQCfYsziHIPtjxiU8gEBE3wuGSN+QcAAoPpk
eWSOlllupKk6s7W2NkK0djSt
=0bSn
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Bluebeard

2010-09-01 20:24:08 UTC

Post by Sadi
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS

SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE.

Don't agree. ThePuttKing's posts don't seem superficial to me. I see a lot
of myself in his descriptions of experiences and feelings. He puts into
things into words quite well.

Post by Sadi
I gave up because I am an ugly twat with no qualities. I'm not blind
to the fact women don't find me attracive. It's obvious.

You're a genuine guy living a real life, warts and impossible situations
(for you) and all. I enjoy reading your posts. Maybe there's even a book in
this. I'm sure there are many who suffer just like you. As for my own
situation, I'm now too old to care. There's plenty more to enjoy in life
beyond these woman-creatures anyway. A lot of them are actually not very
nice.

Yep, I know I'm the uninvited guest to this party. Anyway, greetings to all.

Bluebeard

catpandaddy

2010-09-01 21:17:08 UTC

Post by Bluebeard

Post by Sadi
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS

SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE.

Don't agree. ThePuttKing's posts don't seem superficial to me. I see a
lot of myself in his descriptions of experiences and feelings. He puts
into things into words quite well.

Post by Sadi
I gave up because I am an ugly twat with no qualities. I'm not blind
to the fact women don't find me attracive. It's obvious.

You're a genuine guy living a real life, warts and impossible situations
(for you) and all.
Yep, I know I'm the uninvited guest to this party. Anyway, greetings to all.
Bluebeard

On a side note, what exactly is a negative-5 girl or a negative-5 guy? I
ask of genuine curiosity, because if there is something five steps worse
than Absolute Zero, shouldn't *that* become the new Zero?

I am also detecting a particularly nasty turn of mood in the group this
week. I fear for the "support" aspect of this support group, but perhaps
that is too far in the distant past to ever be truly recovered.

Sadi

2010-09-02 14:29:18 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
On a side note, what exactly is a negative-5 girl or a negative-5
guy?

It's not "negative-5", it's LESS THAN 5.

5 = average, i.e. not ugly, not pretty
5+ = more than 5, i.e. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
5- = less than 5, i.e. 4, 3, 2, 1, 0

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTH+0qxHSUETdEJzmEQK6KACeNk3xndVmFBVGQ8Rrc6mp79ucSP4Anj0j
zNQACrXa+Y8/02BPyu3UhQZt
=NeVp
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Shabby

2010-09-02 14:49:33 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
On a side note, what exactly is a negative-5 girl or a negative-5
guy?

It's not "negative-5", it's LESS THAN 5.
5 = average, i.e. not ugly, not pretty
5+ = more than 5, i.e. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
5- = less than 5, i.e. 4, 3, 2, 1, 0
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTH+0qxHSUETdEJzmEQK6KACeNk3xndVmFBVGQ8Rrc6mp79ucSP4Anj0j
zNQACrXa+Y8/02BPyu3UhQZt
=NeVp
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

You could use <5 for less than, and >5 for greater than thereby being
more conventionally correct. Although there's no need to, of course,
for all who've read your explanatory post here.

catpandaddy

2010-09-02 17:31:07 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
On a side note, what exactly is a negative-5 girl or a negative-5
guy?

It's not "negative-5", it's LESS THAN 5.
5 = average, i.e. not ugly, not pretty
5+ = more than 5, i.e. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
5- = less than 5, i.e. 4, 3, 2, 1, 0

Okay gotcha. Didn't know the set notation, so to speak.

catpandaddy

2010-09-02 19:01:44 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
On a side note, what exactly is a negative-5 girl or a negative-5
guy?

It's not "negative-5", it's LESS THAN 5.
5 = average, i.e. not ugly, not pretty
5+ = more than 5, i.e. 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
5- = less than 5, i.e. 4, 3, 2, 1, 0

Okay gotcha. Didn't know the set notation, so to speak.

Wait, scratch that.... in the previous message you talked about a +8 girl...
if that is from a base of 5, then unless the +8 was a typo, that would be
5+8=13. Yowza.

Sadi

2010-09-02 23:30:00 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
Wait, scratch that.... in the previous message you talked about a +8
girl... if that is from a base of 5, then unless the +8 was a typo,
that would be 5+8=13. Yowza.

I never wrote +8, I wrote 8+.

Using the Hot or Not rating scale of 1 - 10, with 5 in the middle,
i.e. "average". If you're 5-, then you rate LESS than a 5; if you're
5+ then you rate MORE than a 5.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIAzZhHSUETdEJzmEQK5UACeJPCUs0GANlGuQbUMBpq7KGCgrD4AoJBh
MnLCWVYkByI/hrAeDR6Q6PZL
=pG9x
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

catpandaddy

2010-09-03 00:16:50 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
Wait, scratch that.... in the previous message you talked about a +8
girl... if that is from a base of 5, then unless the +8 was a typo,
that would be 5+8=13. Yowza.

I never wrote +8, I wrote 8+.
Using the Hot or Not rating scale of 1 - 10, with 5 in the middle,
i.e. "average". If you're 5-, then you rate LESS than a 5; if you're
5+ then you rate MORE than a 5.

Okay I'm seeing it now. I've been doing so much reading this week that
everything is blurring together, which means I'm at the burning-out level
and need to switch gears, maybe meditate quietly or do some sitting in the
conservatory, just find some way to unplug for a few days.

Shabby

2010-09-03 19:55:20 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
Wait, scratch that.... in the previous message you talked about a +8
girl... if that is from a base of 5, then unless the +8 was a typo,
that would be 5+8=13. Yowza.

I never wrote +8, I wrote 8+.
Using the Hot or Not rating scale of 1 - 10, with 5 in the middle,
i.e. "average". If you're 5-, then you rate LESS than a 5; if you're
5+ then you rate MORE than a 5.

That rating needed explaining, though. 5- to me would otherwise mean
less than five but still higher than a 4. Just like, say, a school
grade B- is less than a B but higher than a C. And, likewise a 5+ is
higher than a 5 but not quite a 6.

When you're at burning-out level, being faced with such an ambiguous
rating scale won't help. Hope you're back up to speed soon, btw.

ps This rubbish spell-checker of mine wants to change your name to
campanology - who says these machines will one day replace us?

catpandaddy

2010-09-03 21:19:05 UTC

Post by Shabby

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by catpandaddy
Wait, scratch that.... in the previous message you talked about a +8
girl... if that is from a base of 5, then unless the +8 was a typo,
that would be 5+8=13. Yowza.

I never wrote +8, I wrote 8+.
Using the Hot or Not rating scale of 1 - 10, with 5 in the middle,
i.e. "average". If you're 5-, then you rate LESS than a 5; if you're
5+ then you rate MORE than a 5.

That rating needed explaining, though. 5- to me would otherwise mean
less than five but still higher than a 4. Just like, say, a school
grade B- is less than a B but higher than a C. And, likewise a 5+ is
higher than a 5 but not quite a 6.
When you're at burning-out level, being faced with such an ambiguous
rating scale won't help. Hope you're back up to speed soon, btw.
ps This rubbish spell-checker of mine wants to change your name to
campanology - who says these machines will one day replace us?

Turn it off when among friends, is my stance on spellcheckers.

ThePuttKing

2010-09-02 15:26:34 UTC

Post by Sadi
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS

SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE.

Don't agree. ThePuttKing's posts don't seem superficial to me. I see a lot
of myself in his descriptions of experiences and feelings. He puts into
things into words quite well.

Post by Sadi
I gave up because I am an ugly twat with no qualities. I'm not blind
to the fact women don't find me attracive. It's obvious.

You're a genuine guy living a real life, warts and impossible situations
(for you) and all. I enjoy reading your posts. Maybe there's even a book in
this. I'm sure there are many who suffer just like you. As for my own
situation, I'm now too old to care. There's plenty more to enjoy in life
beyond these woman-creatures anyway. A lot of them are actually not very
nice.
Yep, I know I'm the uninvited guest to this party. Anyway, greetings to all.
Bluebeard

Cheers Bluebird. Nice to read some kind comments. Maybe that Sadi was
having a bad day or something ?

ThePuttKing

2010-09-02 16:13:59 UTC

Post by Sadi
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS

SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE.

Don't agree. ThePuttKing's posts don't seem superficial to me. I see a lot
of myself in his descriptions of experiences and feelings. He puts into
things into words quite well.

Post by Sadi
I gave up because I am an ugly twat with no qualities. I'm not blind
to the fact women don't find me attracive. It's obvious.

You're a genuine guy living a real life, warts and impossible situations
(for you) and all. I enjoy reading your posts. Maybe there's even a book in
this. I'm sure there are many who suffer just like you. As for my own
situation, I'm now too old to care. There's plenty more to enjoy in life
beyond these woman-creatures anyway. A lot of them are actually not very
nice.
Yep, I know I'm the uninvited guest to this party. Anyway, greetings to all.
Bluebeard

I did get into writing for awhile. Of course all my stories were about
myself. Don't think I had much talent for it though. I do think there
is a book / film about the people on this group though. I think in
films they tend to go for the happy ending. A shy person wiil always
end up with someone for example.

deaf

2010-09-04 11:38:48 UTC

Post by Bluebeard

Post by Sadi
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS

SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE.

Don't agree. ThePuttKing's posts don't seem superficial to me. I see a lot
of myself in his descriptions of experiences and feelings. He puts into
things into words quite well.

Post by Sadi
I gave up because I am an ugly twat with no qualities. I'm not blind
to the fact women don't find me attracive. It's obvious.

You're a genuine guy living a real life, warts and impossible situations
(for you) and all. I enjoy reading your posts. Maybe there's even a book in
this. I'm sure there are many who suffer just like you. As for my own
situation, I'm now too old to care. There's plenty more to enjoy in life
beyond these woman-creatures anyway. A lot of them are actually not very
nice.
Yep, I know I'm the uninvited guest to this party. Anyway, greetings to all.
Bluebeard

You sound *a lot* like Mxsmanic. He used to say a lot more to enjoy in
life besides that woman creatures. So what is there more interesting and
pleasurable than a relationship with a woman? Plus he said he used many
different nicknames, also I remeber you won the older 2009 virgin
contest in alt.support.shyness and Mxs was in his sixties too and a
virgin too. What's the point of using the diferent nicknames to say the
same?

http://tuporno.tv/videos/hermanos-follando-a-escondidas

catpandaddy

2010-09-02 02:27:24 UTC

Post by Sadi
She's not going to ask. And if she does ask it's because she's
curious why a 40 year-old male wants to go to a party for a 21
year-old female co-worker he's not friends with. Translation: She
finds it creepy. The only "truth" is that you want to get to know HER
better, which is even MORE creepy that you're not up-front about it.

I haven't put my name down and I don't intend going. I thought I made
that clear.

I mentioned this elsethread, but I'm wondering if perhaps she is mixing you
and Pumpkinhead up part of the time, because of the similarities in the two
names.

Bernd Jendrissek

2010-09-02 08:11:36 UTC

Post by catpandaddy
I mentioned this elsethread, but I'm wondering if perhaps she is mixing you
and Pumpkinhead up part of the time, because of the similarities in the two
names.

I think you need to search for "Sadi" in the group archives. All will
be revealed. If you don't find anything, search for "her" nemesis at
the time - "mitz". Or search for "BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE" and
ignore the ones from me. "She" is a top-shelf troll. Unfortunately
she doesn't have the balls to troll the seduction fora - that would be
an order of magnitude more entertaining.

Sadi

2010-09-02 14:28:26 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Thu, 2 Sep 2010 01:11:36 -0700 (PDT), Bernd Jendrissek

Post by Bernd Jendrissek
I think you need to search for "Sadi" in the group archives. All
will be revealed. If you don't find anything, search for "her"
nemesis at the time - "mitz". Or search for "BEGIN PGP SIGNED
MESSAGE" and ignore the ones from me. "She" is a top-shelf troll.
Unfortunately she doesn't have the balls to troll the seduction fora
- that would be an order of magnitude more entertaining.

Are you still a virgin and posting only from theory, rather than
real-life experience?

Wow, you're a 9.6 on Hot or Not! That's got to be the highest of any
ASS poster!

Bernd's Hot or Not Rating page:
http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=GRHYERN&key=TDC

Bernd's Hot or Not "Meet Me" page, + more photos:
http://www.hotornot.com/m/r/?emid=KUS8RYN

Bernd's Hot or Not introduction:
"Hello, I'm Bernd. I'm into hiking dancing making stuff and
definitely not into watching TV. I'm a shallow bastard and my eyes
roll at any and all so-called "compatibility" tests: I'd much rather
just get with a hot young thing who can trigger my genetic buttons
without having to get steeped in uber intellectual conversation and
cookie cutter romantic dinners etc."

So tell us Bernd, have you gotten with any "hot young thing" yet?

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTH+0WRHSUETdEJzmEQIQ9wCdHhGtZgXx1RpHH066ihrMR6YFdcgAoIvL
JrUwiW6il/D4h14KVrvKq4eD
=iegD
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

catpandaddy

2010-09-01 21:32:39 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
If you're a 5- then only a girl 5- will go out with you -- unless you
have that truly fab personality, as indicated above. I'm an 8 and
I've gone out with both short and ugly guys that rate in my opinion a
3. Why? Because they had fabulous personalities!

Ideally I would prefer that it be personality that carries the day, with
extra good looks compensating for deficiencies in personal traits. Instead
it appears to be the other way around in this day and age.

Was humanity always so superficial? I think that guys and gals of today
have significantly inflated standards that are geared toward the most
superficial of traits. The only consolation I have is that I've got mine,
and she and I connected primarily on levels of substance rather than
appearance. And even that fact owes to the environment in which her family
and mine had raised us.

The "environment" to which I refer is the lessons of our upbringing. From
an early age, "don't judge a book by its cover" and "beauty is only skin
deep but disdain cuts right to the bone" were phrases instilled in us, to be
sure that we treated others well and did not pre-judge (the origin of the
word "prejudice") based on that which did not matter. She and I respect
each other for who we *are* and what we *do*, and these things are
irrespective of what we might look like at a given moment of a given year of
either of our lives. We have both had our proverbial "duckling/swan"
periods, and not always during the same period of time, and it matters not
one whit.

Rant over.

Pumpkinhead

2010-09-01 22:13:03 UTC

Post by Sadi
Here's the deal for you and other guys interested in a particular
woman. You need to act IMMEDIATELY! A week or two later AT THE MOST.
You don't ask a woman out you've worked with or know MONTHS later.
When you see some mutual interests and attraction ask her out RIGHT
AWAY. The key in everyday conversation with others is to pick up on
any mutual sparks/interest. No sparks from her? Don't bother, she's
not interested.
Most shy guys misinterpret signals. Just because a woman talks to you
doesn't mean she's interested in you THAT WAY. She's just being
friendly. Friendly does not equal interest. If the woman is shy, too
and is actually interested in you, then she'll be coy about it. But,
you'll always know. If you don't know then she's not interested.

If women are so good at interpereting signals, then maybe they should do the
asking out.

Can women also be clueless?

Post by Sadi
If you can't even tell when we're interested
in you, then you'll never get when we're upset, mad, etc.

If you can't even do algebraic long division, then you'll never be able to
add 2 and 2 together. Do you see what I did there?

Post by Sadi
Now stop complaining and go out and find yourself a nice,
average-looking girl in your age range who likes the same things you
do.

Tried that.

Post by Sadi
She's just as lonely and attention-starved as you are.

She's clearly not.

catpandaddy

2010-09-02 01:31:01 UTC

Can women also be clueless?

You know, I almost think there is some mistaken identity going on here.
Pumpkinhead, you and PuttKing are two completely different people right?
Because it sounds like some messages might be getting mixed up, because
"PuttKing" and "Pumpkinhead" look similar when not paying attention. Unless
they are both the same person with separate accounts, like for work and
home, but I always thought they were two completely different people.

ThePuttKing

2010-09-02 15:29:59 UTC

Can women also be clueless?

Oh so Pumpkinhead and Sadi don't get on and she got mixed up !

catpandaddy

2010-09-02 17:34:59 UTC

Can women also be clueless?

You know, I almost think there is some mistaken identity going on here.
Pumpkinhead, you and PuttKing are two completely different people right?
Because it sounds like some messages might be getting mixed up, because
"PuttKing" and "Pumpkinhead" look similar when not paying attention.
Unless
they are both the same person with separate accounts, like for work and
home, but I always thought they were two completely different people.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
Oh so Pumpkinhead and Sadi don't get on and she got mixed up !

I don't know about that, it just seemed like her comments about "creepy"
were more appropriate for the other guy who wrote at length last month about
the "why did she browse me and not message me after?" incident. That was a
high-profile thread and so it was what made me wonder if she had
misremembered that as being from you instead of the other guy.

Sadi

2010-09-02 23:29:24 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

[...] it just seemed like her comments about "creepy" were more
appropriate for the other guy who wrote at length last month about
the "why did she browse me and not message me after?" incident.

A 40 year-old guy wanting to attend an out-of-office party for a
female co-worker turning 21 *who he's not friends with* is indeed
creepy. Ask any woman and she'll agree. When you're a 21 year-old
girl a 40 year-old guy is OLD, possibly the same age as her father.
Again, if they were friends, it's different, but they're not. They
just work in the same office. CREEPY.

And why would ANYONE want to go to a birthday party of someone
they're not friends with, male or female? Perhaps if all were 18-21
years-old and in university, i.e. a dorm party, but certainly not for
adults.

That was a high-profile thread and so it was what made me wonder if
she had misremembered that as being from you instead of the other
guy.

I'm not confusing PuttKing's post with Pumpkinhead's, though the
latter was even MORE creepy. ;-)

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIAzLxHSUETdEJzmEQIDhACguqCwoZ/Ezv9TTzugKZTqlkNC2RsAn1JU
k0L2LHAgE9nuTr7V9vF5CGv+
=T9aS
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

ThePuttKing

2010-09-03 16:52:07 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

[...] it just seemed like her comments about "creepy" were more
appropriate for the other guy who wrote at length last month about
the "why did she browse me and not message me after?" incident.

I got asked today by the girls mother if I was going. So she can't
think it's creepy. A woman colleague and her husband have put their
names down. Both are roughly my age. I think the only thing creepy is
you.

Post by Sadi
And why would ANYONE want to go to a birthday party of someone
they're not friends with, male or female? Perhaps if all were 18-21
years-old and in university, i.e. a dorm party, but certainly not for
adults.

That was a high-profile thread and so it was what made me wonder if
she had misremembered that as being from you instead of the other
guy.

I'm not confusing PuttKing's post with Pumpkinhead's, though the
latter was even MORE creepy. ;-)

Your the creep !

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIAzLxHSUETdEJzmEQIDhACguqCwoZ/Ezv9TTzugKZTqlkNC2RsAn1JU
k0L2LHAgE9nuTr7V9vF5CGv+
=T9aS
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

ThePuttKing

2010-09-03 16:56:03 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

[...] it just seemed like her comments about "creepy" were more
appropriate for the other guy who wrote at length last month about
the "why did she browse me and not message me after?" incident.

A 40 year-old guy wanting to attend an out-of-office party for a
female co-worker turning 21 *who he's not friends with* is indeed
creepy. Ask any woman and she'll agree. When you're a 21 year-old
girl a 40 year-old guy is OLD, possibly the same age as her father.
Again, if they were friends, it's different, but they're not. They
just work in the same office. CREEPY.
And why would ANYONE want to go to a birthday party of someone
they're not friends with, male or female? Perhaps if all were 18-21
years-old and in university, i.e. a dorm party, but certainly not for
adults.

That was a high-profile thread and so it was what made me wonder if
she had misremembered that as being from you instead of the other
guy.

I'm not confusing PuttKing's post with Pumpkinhead's, though the
latter was even MORE creepy. ;-)

Oh and read the text properly. I don't want to go. So there is nothing
creepy about not wanting to go.

I think your like many of the women who have been on here. A nasty
person !

Sadi

2010-09-03 19:24:36 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

I'm going to ignore your flaming me and really try to help you. If
you flame me again then that's it. That's means that you think your
buddies here on ASS give you better advice. Think about it, these are
the same guys who've had ZERO success with women because they're as
shy as you are.

Why don't you just ask out the co-worker you DO like? (Or is she 21,
too?) Yes, there's a chance of rejection, especially if you've worked
along side her for a long time. Women are wary of guys that take a
long time to make the "first move", especially if they've been
sending "signals". Note, if she hasn't been sending you any signals
and you know for a fact it's a one-way thing, then DO NOT ask her
out! You've got to still work with her, and you'll be embarrassed.
Only YOU know the situation. If you're not sure if she likes you
"that way", then DO NOT ask her out! As I posted the other day, if
she likes you as more than a co-worker, you'll know. And, if you
DON'T know, then she won't go out with you, because you'll be
clueless to her feelings. Sorry, that's just how us women feel about
guys. Many women say they want a man who's in touch with HIS OWN
feelings. That's not true. We want someone in touch with OUR
feelings.

Remember, there's a 50/50 chance she WILL go out with you, so that's
pretty good odds.If she's the kind of girl who gives lame excuses,
then she's not interested -- don't ask her out again. If a woman
truly has plans and wants to go out with the guy, then she'll say
something like "I can't go on Friday, because I already made plans
with my girlfriend. But, I'd like to go out with you, so how about
next Friday?" I.e., she'll give a specific day she'd like to go, not
just, "Some other time", which means NO.

If you DO ask her out, don't be a wuss and make it sound like just a
casual get-together between two co-workers. Make it OBVIOUS that it
would be a date and you're interested in her. If she says no then
that's it. DO NOT ask her out again. No more fantasizing about her,
and you could move on to someone else who DOES like you more than a
friend.

P.S. If she's younger than 30 DO NOT ask her out. When we're that
young a guy who's 40 is too old. This age difference changes when a
women is 40+. And please, no excuses re. "cougars". "Cougars" are no
different than male "players". This is a discussion about potential
relationships, not FWB. (Or is it?)

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIFLWhHSUETdEJzmEQL1hgCg5J1OlSqCV4xha99JZ0o4LuBL9SQAoJEc
jFFvDWxTtOzni2hkbMN/AWti
=xsoI
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

ThePuttKing

2010-09-03 21:14:10 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
I'm going to ignore your flaming me and really try to help you. If
you flame me again then that's it. That's means that you think your
buddies here on ASS give you better advice. Think about it, these are
the same guys who've had ZERO success with women because they're as
shy as you are.

You didn't have to make the creepy comments and you can give advice
without slagging me off. Your take on the party was totally wrong. I
don't want to go and all the staff will be asked. People in their 40's
will be going so why I am creepy because I mention it ?

Post by Sadi
Why don't you just ask out the co-worker you DO like? (Or is she 21,
too?)

She's 30.

Yes, there's a chance of rejection, especially if you've worked

Post by Sadi
along side her for a long time. Women are wary of guys that take a
long time to make the "first move", especially if they've been
sending "signals". Note, if she hasn't been sending you any signals
and you know for a fact it's a one-way thing, then DO NOT ask her
out! You've got to still work with her, and you'll be embarrassed.
Only YOU know the situation. If you're not sure if she likes you
"that way", then DO NOT ask her out! As I posted the other day, if
she likes you as more than a co-worker, you'll know. And, if you
DON'T know, then she won't go out with you, because you'll be
clueless to her feelings. Sorry, that's just how us women feel about
guys. Many women say they want a man who's in touch with HIS OWN
feelings. That's not true. We want someone in touch with OUR
feelings.
Remember, there's a 50/50 chance she WILL go out with you, so that's
pretty good odds.If she's the kind of girl who gives lame excuses,
then she's not interested -- don't ask her out again. If a woman
truly has plans and wants to go out with the guy, then she'll say
something like "I can't go on Friday, because I already made plans
with my girlfriend. But, I'd like to go out with you, so how about
next Friday?" I.e., she'll give a specific day she'd like to go, not
just, "Some other time", which means NO.

I know all this. I would never ask a woman out twice. My gut instinct
is this woman would say 'no'. Everybody in the shop knows I like her
so this woman must know. Load of comments are made in front of her.
She may think I'm joking but I don't think so. Women talk to each
other and I'm sure they have discussed me. She probably see's it as
harmless fun and I bet me asking her out would be a big shock to her.
None of my fellow workers have talked to me about asking her out. They
haven't tried to get us together. (In fact nobody as ever done that
which makes me think I'm not much of a catch !)

Post by Sadi
If you DO ask her out, don't be a wuss and make it sound like just a
casual get-together between two co-workers. Make it OBVIOUS that it
would be a date and you're interested in her. If she says no then
that's it. DO NOT ask her out again. No more fantasizing about her,
and you could move on to someone else who DOES like you more than a
friend.

Thanks for that advice and sorry I called you nasty and a creep. I do
have a half baked plan. What do you think ? She's due to leave in a
few months to be a manager somewhere. I was going to wait until she
goes and then send a message using facebook. I would ask her how she
is doing and then maybe ask her out. I thought this would be easier
for me and her. I wouldn't get so nervous and she wouldn't have to
make up an excuse. (She wouldn't have to reply)

I tend to like women my age and not the young ones.

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIFLWhHSUETdEJzmEQL1hgCg5J1OlSqCV4xha99JZ0o4LuBL9SQAoJEc
jFFvDWxTtOzni2hkbMN/AWti
=xsoI
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Sadi

2010-09-03 23:00:49 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Fri, 3 Sep 2010 14:14:10 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

I do have a half baked plan. What do you think ? She's due to leave
in a few months to be a manager somewhere. I was going to wait until
she goes and then send a message using facebook. I would ask her how
she is doing and then maybe ask her out. I thought this would be
easier for me and her. I wouldn't get so nervous and she wouldn't
have to make up an excuse. (She wouldn't have to reply)

You're right, it IS "half-baked". First off, how long have you known
this woman? If it's YEARS, forget the whole thing. When you like
someone and you want to DATE THEM you need to act NOW -- not months,
or heaven forbid, YEARS later. It doesn't take MONTHS or YEARS to
know if you like someone, and they like you back. Carpe diem, ya
know?

Using Facebook to ask someone out might work if you were 18-21 and in
university, but you're a grown man -- 40! -- and she's 30. You're
both adults. That's just lame. Again, a woman will think if you can't
even face her to ask her out, then you won't be in touch with HER
FEELINGS.

OTOH, the following MIGHT work, depending on her own shyness
quotient, and if she sees you as anything other than a work-mate.

Go up to her WHEN BOTH OF YOU ARE ALONE, and tell her you heard she's
leaving. Be honest, and tell her you've always liked her, but you
don't think workplace relationships are healthy. But now that she's
leaving, you'd like to take her out. You'll know by her reaction if
the feeling's reciprocal. If she politely declines, tell her you
understand (even though you don't), smile, say thanks, and walk away.
If she says YES then make plans RIGHT THERE. Don't say, "Okay, I'll
call you in few months when you're gone." Make plans RIGHT THEN.

Whatever you do, DO NOT go up to her while she's around other people
and say, "Can we talk someplace private?" Also, DO NOT send her a
message via Facebook that you want to talk to her at work. Even if
you have to wait to get her alone, then do it. It is very important
that no one else is around. People are nosy. This is no one's
business. And, you're telling her that you think workplace
relationships are bad, so you need to act that way.

Please please please do not wait any longer. And seriously, do not do
it via Facebook, IM, or any other online service. It MUST be
in-person.

And whatever the results, DO NOT tell anyone else at work. EVER. Do
not whine if she says no, and certainly DO NOT BRAG if she says yes.
And trust me on this, if she DOES say YES and you tell someone else
at work, SHE WILL FIND OUT. And if that happens, she WILL NOT GO OUT
WITH YOU.

Good luck! And remember, the expression is "carpe diem", not seize
the MONTH or YEAR.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIF9wRHSUETdEJzmEQLsXwCg2YyNgGfUEzU9PoEYhh1mSJWqotsAoOhw
YeUqlLhUGo2lmF57r46kP2d2
=SISe
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Pumpkinhead

2010-09-03 23:52:01 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Fri, 3 Sep 2010 14:14:10 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

If she likes him, she can also act. Can't she?

Post by Sadi
Using Facebook to ask someone out might work if you were 18-21 and in
university, but you're a grown man -- 40! -- and she's 30. You're
both adults. That's just lame. Again, a woman will think if you can't
even face her to ask her out, then you won't be in touch with HER
FEELINGS.

How is a man supposed to know if a woman is in touch with his feelings?

Why is it all up to the man? Why can't she take him out? She probably has
a car. She's certainly free to use her brain. Maybe she even earns more
money than him.

Post by Sadi
You'll know by her reaction if
the feeling's reciprocal. If she politely declines, tell her you
understand (even though you don't), smile, say thanks, and walk away.
If she says YES then make plans RIGHT THERE. Don't say, "Okay, I'll
call you in few months when you're gone." Make plans RIGHT THEN.

Why can't she make plans?

Why would she wait?

catpandaddy

2010-09-04 00:21:06 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Fri, 3 Sep 2010 14:14:10 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

If she likes him, she can also act. Can't she?

How is a man supposed to know if a woman is in touch with his feelings?

Why is it all up to the man? Why can't she take him out? She probably has
a car. She's certainly free to use her brain. Maybe she even earns more
money than him.

Why can't she make plans?

Why would she wait?

In practice, a lot of these things happen almost simultaneously. That's how
it was for me and my gal, circumstances happened such that each of us was
simultaneously moving forward, perhaps slowly and cautiously, all along. I
think when the day arrived to explicitly broach the subject of dating, we
had both been inching up to the go line long enough that we were in sync on
that decision even before verbalizing it. I can't really describe it in
words. It would be much simpler if I could.

ThePuttKing

2010-09-04 12:02:38 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Fri, 3 Sep 2010 14:14:10 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

She's only been at my work for about 10 months and it's only the last
3 or 4 I started to talk to her.

Thanks for that. Now I know it's a crap plan so I won't bother doing
it. It's best to get advice first before I make a complete pratt of
myself. (As usual)

Post by Sadi
OTOH, the following MIGHT work, depending on her own shyness
quotient, and if she sees you as anything other than a work-mate.
Go up to her WHEN BOTH OF YOU ARE ALONE, and tell her you heard she's
leaving. Be honest, and tell her you've always liked her, but you
don't think workplace relationships are healthy. But now that she's
leaving, you'd like to take her out. You'll know by her reaction if
the feeling's reciprocal. If she politely declines, tell her you
understand (even though you don't), smile, say thanks, and walk away.
If she says YES then make plans RIGHT THERE. Don't say, "Okay, I'll
call you in few months when you're gone." Make plans RIGHT THEN.

Sounds reasonable enough.

Post by Sadi
Whatever you do, DO NOT go up to her while she's around other people
and say, "Can we talk someplace private?" Also, DO NOT send her a
message via Facebook that you want to talk to her at work. Even if
you have to wait to get her alone, then do it. It is very important
that no one else is around. People are nosy. This is no one's
business. And, you're telling her that you think workplace
relationships are bad, so you need to act that way.
Please please please do not wait any longer. And seriously, do not do
it via Facebook, IM, or any other online service. It MUST be
in-person.
And whatever the results, DO NOT tell anyone else at work. EVER. Do
not whine if she says no, and certainly DO NOT BRAG if she says yes.
And trust me on this, if she DOES say YES and you tell someone else
at work, SHE WILL FIND OUT. And if that happens, she WILL NOT GO OUT
WITH YOU.

I wouldn't do that.

Post by Sadi
Good luck! And remember, the expression is "carpe diem", not seize
the MONTH or YEAR.
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIF9wRHSUETdEJzmEQLsXwCg2YyNgGfUEzU9PoEYhh1mSJWqotsAoOhw
YeUqlLhUGo2lmF57r46kP2d2
=SISe
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Shabby

2010-09-04 00:57:11 UTC

ThePuttKing wrote:

<skip>

[...] I do have a half baked plan. What do you think ? She's due to leave
in a few months to be a manager somewhere. I was going to wait until
she goes and then send a message using facebook. I would ask her
how she is doing and then maybe ask her out. I thought this would be
easier for me and her. I wouldn't get so nervous and she wouldn't have
to make up an excuse. (She wouldn't have to reply)

I think you can best operate within your own capabilities, just like
everyone else. I also think you know yourself pretty well and
certainly better than anyone else. Whatever plan you come up with,
half baked or otherwise, at least you know you should be able to go
through with it, regardless of whether it works or not. If your plan
doesn't work with this person you still know you gave it a good try,
and even maybe the best try you could put into action.

A fool-proof plan (even if there were such a thing) is no good unless
you can go through with it. So, realistically, you are obliged to run
with something that you can do without getting too nervous - you know,
we've all got to take such things into consideration, in all walks of
life. It's the 'don't bite off more than you can chew' thing, don't
over-reach yourself. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, yes, but
not to the extent that you make your life almost unbearable.

You've got some good things going for you and you're better than you
make yourself out to be.

ThePuttKing

2010-09-04 12:09:01 UTC

Post by Shabby
<skip>

I think you can best operate within your own capabilities, just like
everyone else. I also think you know yourself pretty well and
certainly better than anyone else. Whatever plan you come up with,
half baked or otherwise, at least you know you should be able to go
through with it, regardless of whether it works or not. If your plan
doesn't work with this person you still know you gave it a good try,
and even maybe the best try you could put into action.
A fool-proof plan (even if there were such a thing) is no good unless
you can go through with it. So, realistically, you are obliged to run
with something that you can do without getting too nervous - you know,
we've all got to take such things into consideration, in all walks of
life. It's the 'don't bite off more than you can chew' thing, don't
over-reach yourself. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, yes, but
not to the extent that you make your life almost unbearable.
You've got some good things going for you and you're better than you
make yourself out to be.

Thanks.

This young lass who I was working with yesterday told me her Mother
had come into the shop and got served by somebody. She wanted to know
who it was. Her description was short dark hair, wears glasses. The
young lass told her Mam it was me. The Mother then said that I was
'ever so polite' when I served her. I had made a good impression.
Things like that cheer me up because sometimes I think I'm some kind
of monster. I remember my school reports always said I was 'polite'

Shabby

2010-09-04 13:08:45 UTC

Post by Shabby
<skip>

I think you can best operate within your own capabilities, just like
everyone else. I also think you know yourself pretty well and
certainly better than anyone else. Whatever plan you come up with,
half baked or otherwise, at least you know you should be able to go
through with it, regardless of whether it works or not. If your plan
doesn't work with this person you still know you gave it a good try,
and even maybe the best try you could put into action.
A fool-proof plan (even if there were such a thing) is no good unless
you can go through with it. So, realistically, you are obliged to run
with something that you can do without getting too nervous - you know,
we've all got to take such things into consideration, in all walks of
life. It's the 'don't bite off more than you can chew' thing, don't
over-reach yourself. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, yes, but
not to the extent that you make your life almost unbearable.
You've got some good things going for you and you're better than you
make yourself out to be.

Thanks.
This young lass who I was working with yesterday told me her Mother
had come into the shop and got served by somebody. She wanted to know
who it was. Her description was short dark hair, wears glasses. The
young lass told her Mam it was me. The Mother then said that I was
'ever so polite' when I served her. I had made a good impression.
Things like that cheer me up because sometimes I think I'm some kind
of monster. I remember my school reports always said I was 'polite'

That's exactly the sort of thing I mean when I say you've got some
good things going for you. You don't have to be one of the beautiful
people to make out (although it sure helps, only a fool would deny
that). It's not essential, though, but you already know that.
Courtesy, politeness,kindness and thoughtfulness count for so much, as
do things like honesty, integrity, reliability... I could go on and on
but this is a picture you must also already be aware of.

You know how you feel when someone shows you they like you? Well, it
works the otherway round too. Don't be afraid to make it obvious to
someone you like them, and have a willingness to be there for them,
they'll almost always see you in a better light and it'll give them
something to think about.

Okay, I'll shut-up now - I don't have to drink to rabbit on like this
you know :)

catpandaddy

2010-09-03 21:18:11 UTC

"Sadi" <***@gmail.com.INVALID> wrote in message news:***@4ax.com...
[in regards to PuttKing's objections]

Post by Sadi
I'm going to ignore your flaming me and really try to help you.

This invariably puts me at risk of getting into trouble, as nobody has asked
for my mediation or intervention, but I just wanted to clear away the
clutter and figure out a couple things here.

(A) To me, the three salient points of objection seemed to be that other
people his age have signed up, someone asked him if he planned to go, and he
explicitly expressed zero nada zip interest in so attending.

(B) Those three points aside, I think your advice was perfectly valid and
reasonably stated.

Is it too late to start over and separate A from B above? It appears to me
that Sadi is earnestly offering advice and perspective, but also that
PuttKing might be more receptive if his objections were briefly
acknowledged. (And I apologize for using the third-person syntax in that
last sentence, but it is the only neutral way to phrase it that I can think
of at the moment.)

Unless there is some long-standing history here that I am unaware of, I
think that this particular exchange can still end on a positive note.

Apologies for the intrusion.

ThePuttKing

2010-09-03 21:26:22 UTC

Post by catpandaddy
[in regards to PuttKing's objections]

Post by Sadi
I'm going to ignore your flaming me and really try to help you.

This invariably puts me at risk of getting into trouble, as nobody has asked
for my mediation or intervention, but I just wanted to clear away the
clutter and figure out a couple things here.
(A) To me, the three salient points of objection seemed to be that other
people his age have signed up, someone asked him if he planned to go, and he
explicitly expressed zero nada zip interest in so attending.
(B) Those three points aside, I think your advice was perfectly valid and
reasonably stated.
Is it too late to start over and separate A from B above? It appears to me
that Sadi is earnestly offering advice and perspective, but also that
PuttKing might be more receptive if his objections were briefly
acknowledged. (And I apologize for using the third-person syntax in that
last sentence, but it is the only neutral way to phrase it that I can think
of at the moment.)
Unless there is some long-standing history here that I am unaware of, I
think that this particular exchange can still end on a positive note.
Apologies for the intrusion.

Her advice was okay about the original woman.

But she got everything wrong about the party invite and I didn't like
been called 'creepy'. The party is for a 21 year old but loads of
people will be going who are older than me. It's not just her and her
mates. She invited everybody at work. Her Mother asked me today and I
muttered a 'don't think so'. I brought the subject up because the
woman I like may ask me. (Since she doesn't know me that well and
won't know I have a reputation for not going anywhere). I was
wondering what to say so I wouldn't sound like a misery guts. That was
all. I have no intentions of going. It's just not my thing.

ThePuttKing

2010-09-04 12:15:51 UTC

Post by catpandaddy
[in regards to PuttKing's objections]

Post by Sadi
I'm going to ignore your flaming me and really try to help you.

This invariably puts me at risk of getting into trouble, as nobody has asked
for my mediation or intervention, but I just wanted to clear away the
clutter and figure out a couple things here.
(A) To me, the three salient points of objection seemed to be that other
people his age have signed up, someone asked him if he planned to go, and he
explicitly expressed zero nada zip interest in so attending.
(B) Those three points aside, I think your advice was perfectly valid and
reasonably stated.
Is it too late to start over and separate A from B above? It appears to me
that Sadi is earnestly offering advice and perspective, but also that
PuttKing might be more receptive if his objections were briefly
acknowledged. (And I apologize for using the third-person syntax in that
last sentence, but it is the only neutral way to phrase it that I can think
of at the moment.)
Unless there is some long-standing history here that I am unaware of, I
think that this particular exchange can still end on a positive note.
Apologies for the intrusion.

Her advice was okay about the original woman.
But she got everything wrong about the party invite and I didn't like
been called 'creepy'. The party is for a 21 year old but loads of
people will be going who are older than me. It's not just her and her
mates. She invited everybody at work. Her Mother asked me today and I
muttered a 'don't think so'. I brought the subject up because the
woman I like may ask me. (Since she doesn't know me that well and
won't know I have a reputation for not going anywhere). I was
wondering what to say so I wouldn't sound like a misery guts. That was
all. I have no intentions of going. It's just not my thing.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

I don't think the thread is about asking a woman out or dating. I
think it's about having strong feelings for a woman and knowing that
you have no chance. Do you carry on and let the feelings develop ? Or
try to stop them because you know all it will lead to is misery ?

ThePuttKing

2010-09-02 15:28:24 UTC

If women are so good at interpereting signals, then maybe they should do the
asking out.

Can women also be clueless?

Or arrogant ?

Post by Sadi
If you can't even tell when we're interested
in you, then you'll never get when we're upset, mad, etc.

If you can't even do algebraic long division, then you'll never be able to
add 2 and 2 together. Do you see what I did there?

Post by Sadi
Now stop complaining and go out and find yourself a nice,
average-looking girl in your age range who likes the same things you
do.

Tried that.

Post by Sadi
She's just as lonely and attention-starved as you are.

She's clearly not.

Curse Of Millhaven

2010-08-20 19:06:29 UTC

There is no worse feeling.

Thank gawd I am anti-dating. Unfortunately the chick from a few months
ago hasn't got back to me about getting together again.

ThePuttKing

2010-08-28 19:01:21 UTC

A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Pumpkinhead

2010-08-28 19:35:18 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Nice. I got into a conversation with a woman online today but it dried up
fast. Either women get bored easily or I'm "boring".

ThePuttKing

2010-08-28 19:56:32 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Nice. I got into a conversation with a woman online today but it dried up
fast. Either women get bored easily or I'm "boring".

Probably the former. Just keep doing it and one day you might click
with somebody !

catpandaddy

2010-08-28 23:38:33 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Nice. I got into a conversation with a woman online today but it dried up
fast. Either women get bored easily or I'm "boring".

Probably the former.

Probably neither. Stop thinking in terms of groups and demographics,
because whether chatting with guys or gals, it's still a crapshoot whether
you have anything in common with the other person. Conversation drying up
isn't simply a women thing, it's an all-people-are-different thing.

ThePuttKing

2010-08-29 13:51:40 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Nice. I got into a conversation with a woman online today but it dried up
fast. Either women get bored easily or I'm "boring".

Probably the former.

I don't chat online with people I don't know.

catpandaddy

2010-08-29 14:40:56 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Nice. I got into a conversation with a woman online today but it dried up
fast. Either women get bored easily or I'm "boring".

Probably the former.

Same thing though. People you already know, sometimes you run out of things
to talk about, sometimes you don't. It depends on the person, even among
people you already know. There are some friends I can't maintain a phone
conversation with for more than a few minutes. Others I can talk with for
almost an hour. The only thing I am saying is, don't let it discourage you.
Easier said than done I know, but such is life. It is not a personal
failure when a conversation runs its course, it's just how life is.

Bernd Jendrissek

2010-08-30 14:06:32 UTC

I disagree. If you find that conversations almost invariably dry up,
you are likely to be part of the problem. You should neither
internalize nor externalize that though. Just take it as a feedback
signal that there's an error in your output, and adjust what you do
until you get a better response.

IMHO having something in common with people is overrated. Don't
misinterpret me though, you've got to have some sort of "meeting of
minds", but I really don't think you need to share *any* common
interests in order to have an interesting conversation.

Post by ThePuttKing
I don't chat online with people I don't know.

I do that all the time on IRC. It's probably my favourite thing to e-
meet people from weird places. I've had Iraq, Iran, Turkey, some
place deep in Siberia. It evokes some of the old child-like
fascination of getting a postcard from a relative overseas. Probably
even more fun than pretending to have cybersex with another guy who's
pretending to be a girl and getting off on pretending that i'm not
pretending.

Shabby

2010-08-31 18:41:06 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
I don't chat online with people I don't know.

Too much information?

deaf

2010-09-04 11:54:26 UTC

Post by Bernd Jendrissek
I disagree. If you find that conversations almost invariably dry up,
you are likely to be part of the problem. You should neither
internalize nor externalize that though. Just take it as a feedback
signal that there's an error in your output, and adjust what you do
until you get a better response.
IMHO having something in common with people is overrated. Don't
misinterpret me though, you've got to have some sort of "meeting of
minds", but I really don't think you need to share *any* common
interests in order to have an interesting conversation.

Post by ThePuttKing
I don't chat online with people I don't know.

LOL. There's more *pretense* in that stuff about "It evokes some of the
old child like experiences..." than in the pretense of that you're a
girl pretending that you're not pretending...

Bernd Jendrissek

2010-08-30 12:23:49 UTC

Post by ThePuttKing
A bit of banter has started on facebook between us. So it's all good !

Nice. I got into a conversation with a woman online today but it dried up
fast. Either women get bored easily or I'm "boring".

My guess is that you shut conversations down without even trying
consciously. Perhaps a bit of combativeness too, and perhaps some
"bitterness". Yes, to me you do seem "bitter", whatever that means.
You have a habit of shooting messengers. Eventually messengers learn
not to bother bringing you any messages.

George Orwell

2010-09-02 09:16:22 UTC

Translation: She's a lard ass, and you're skinny.

Consider prospects in the reverse.

There appears an approximate conservation law at work in developed populations that observes females will tend to
have larger assess than mated males.

Post by catpandaddy
And even that fact owes to the environment in which her family
and mine had raised us.
The "environment" to which I refer is the lessons of our upbringing. From
an early age, "don't judge a book by its cover" and "beauty is only skin
deep but disdain cuts right to the bone" were phrases instilled in us, to be
sure that we treated others well and did not pre-judge (the origin of the
word "prejudice") based on that which did not matter. She and I respect
each other for who we *are* and what we *do*, and these things are
irrespective of what we might look like at a given moment of a given year of
either of our lives. We have both had our proverbial "duckling/swan"
periods, and not always during the same period of time, and it matters not
one whit.
Rant over.

Il mittente di questo messaggio|The sender address of this
non corrisponde ad un utente |message is not related to a real
reale ma all'indirizzo fittizio|person but to a fake address of an
di un sistema anonimizzatore |anonymous system
Per maggiori informazioni |For more info
https://www.mixmaster.it

catpandaddy

2010-09-02 12:50:25 UTC

Post by George Orwell

Translation: She's a lard ass, and you're skinny.

Incorrect. The next time you are here in the Northen states, you may drop
by and verify for yourself at your own convenience. And who are you again?

Post by George Orwell
Consider prospects in the reverse.
There appears an approximate conservation law at work in developed
populations that observes females will tend to
have larger assess than mated males.

And of course if I were to point out where the opposite exists, you would
refer to it as one of your infamous "confounding variables."

So it is not even worth the effort to discuss this with you. Good day sir.

Nomen Nescio

2010-09-02 18:20:09 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:29:25 -0700 (PDT), ThePuttKing

Such practices are typical of cougars.

So, why do you suppose they are rarely deemed 'creepy'?

Post by Sadi
People go to birthday parties to help the birthday girl/guy
celebrate. Any female will find your attendance creepy, unless you're
very good friends with the person celebrating.

Post by ThePuttKing
What will be interesting is if this woman asks me if I'm going.
Shall I tell her the truth ?

Agreed, unequivocally.

False analogy.

Attractiveness measures are skewed dimorphically about the mean, such that male 'ratings' are bottom heavy in distribution, while female 'ratings' are top heavy.

What this means, is that there are significantly more male 5's than there are female 5's.

Ponder the implications of that.

Post by Sadi
Many of you have complained that even an "ugly girl" can get a hot
guy for sex. Well, a 5- girl isn't going to get an 8+ guy for sex --
unless he's been turned down and rejected that night by all the 8+
girls he's already hit on. Sorry, it's reality.

Not quite - see above.

Post by Sadi
If you're a 5- then only a girl 5- will go out with you -- unless you
have that truly fab personality, as indicated above. I'm an 8 and
I've gone out with both short and ugly guys that rate in my opinion a
3. Why? Because they had fabulous personalities!

Which, apparently, did not suffice.

Post by Sadi
If you're looking
for a RELATIONSHIP then you really don't care what someone looks
like. If you're only looking for sex then be honest -- a 5- guy isn't
going to attract sexually 8+ girls, and vice-versa.
A 5- guy can probably get a 5- girl BUT ONLY IF SHE'S NOT AS
SUPERFICIAL AS YOU ARE. If she thinks you're not attractive enough
for her -- and she's a 5- -- then she's as delusional as you are.

No, she is merely female.

Post by Sadi
Now stop complaining and go out and find yourself a nice,
average-looking girl in your age range who likes the same things you
do. She's just as lonely and attention-starved as you are.
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTH6K/BHSUETdEJzmEQJHiQCfYsziHIPtjxiU8gEBE3wuGSN+QcAAoPpk
eWSOlllupKk6s7W2NkK0djSt
=0bSn
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Sadi

2010-09-02 23:44:59 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Thu, 2 Sep 2010 20:20:09 +0200 (CEST), Nomen Nescio

[...]there are significantly more male 5's than there are female
5's.

Please explain this, Bernd. Are you saying that men's standards are
LOWER? This is based purely on physical looks, not personality,
money, etc.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIA26hHSUETdEJzmEQLXkwCg4bSTAELA3RQfVxVn51I+IiOU3NgAoMrz
K0mr2D4KxTq6j49QpT/VWWpJ
=6Pg1
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Nomen Nescio

2010-09-02 22:20:16 UTC

Post by George Orwell

Translation: She's a lard ass, and you're skinny.

Incorrect. The next time you are here in the Northen states, you may drop
by and verify for yourself at your own convenience. And who are you again?

And of course if I were to point out where the opposite exists, you would
refer to it as one of your infamous "confounding variables."

No, I would simply call you on your obvious cherry-picking.

If you were to attempt to justify such anomalous pairings on some basis of mutual physical chemistry, I would then cite the
obvious confounding variables.

Post by catpandaddy
So it is not even worth the effort to discuss this with you. Good day sir.

Good day.

Anonymous

2010-09-02 22:30:14 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Thu, 2 Sep 2010 01:11:36 -0700 (PDT), Bernd Jendrissek

Are you still a virgin and posting only from theory, rather than
real-life experience?
Wow, you're a 9.6 on Hot or Not! That's got to be the highest of any
ASS poster!

So, what would you rate him?

Post by Sadi
Bernd's Hot or Not Rating page:http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=GRHYERN&key=TDC
Bernd's Hot or Not "Meet Me" page, + more photos:http://www.hotornot.com/m/r/?emid=KUS8RYN
"Hello, I'm Bernd. I'm into hiking dancing making stuff and
definitely not into watching TV. I'm a shallow bastard and my eyes
roll at any and all so-called "compatibility" tests: I'd much rather
just get with a hot young thing who can trigger my genetic buttons
without having to get steeped in uber intellectual conversation and
cookie cutter romantic dinners etc."
So tell us Bernd, have you gotten with any "hot young thing" yet?

I seem to recall that no one here considered you an '8', as you so trivially assert you are.

Shall I host a pic to refresh everyone's memory?

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTH+0WRHSUETdEJzmEQIQ9wCdHhGtZgXx1RpHH066ihrMR6YFdcgAoIvL
JrUwiW6il/D4h14KVrvKq4eD
=iegD
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Sadi

2010-09-02 23:34:47 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by Anonymous
So, what would you rate him?

I gave you an 8, Bernd.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIA0WBHSUETdEJzmEQIOKgCgmYijSmM7WZYsiWNOdmaBm5WjvjwAni20
UXrx7HduhkjZtMbUDHx69uwN
=1zOR
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Anonymous

2010-09-03 01:56:31 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Thu, 2 Sep 2010 20:20:09 +0200 (CEST), Nomen Nescio

[...]there are significantly more male 5's than there are female
5's.

Please explain this, Bernd. Are you saying that men's standards are
LOWER? This is based purely on physical looks, not personality,
money, etc.

Pay attention, I am not Bernd.

But, the point is that the conventional 10 point attractiveness measure belies equivalent prospects between the sexes, given
it is *not* symmetrical in distribution.

To elaborate, males are more inclusive of deviation in female physical characteristics, which is why short, endomorphic
females can be scored a '10'(ie. Marilyn Monroe, etc) just as easily as those from a tall, leggy cohort.

On the other hand, males cannot expect equal consideration(show me a short, endomorphic male who can mate with hot women by
virtue of his physical characteristics alone).

Again, this is trivial to observe in any hook-up medium(where one can see alot of short fat women pairing up with
conventionally attractive males, but not the reverse).

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIA26hHSUETdEJzmEQLXkwCg4bSTAELA3RQfVxVn51I+IiOU3NgAoMrz
K0mr2D4KxTq6j49QpT/VWWpJ
=6Pg1
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Sadi

2010-09-03 12:26:07 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by Anonymous
Pay attention, I am not Bernd.

You're just someone who thinks and writes EXACTLY LIKE HIM. Nobody in
ASS can analyze like you, Bernd. Hmm... On second thought, where's
the Babaloughesian these days? Always thought you two were the same
person, anyway.

Post by Anonymous
To elaborate, males are more inclusive of deviation in female
physical characteristics, which is why short, endomorphic females
can be scored a '10'(ie. Marilyn Monroe, etc) just as easily as
those from a tall, leggy cohort.

According to Marilyn Monroe's official website, she was 5' 5 1/2"
tall, weighed between 115-120 lbs. and measured 37-23-36" or
35-22-35". Short and fat??

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIDpTxHSUETdEJzmEQLuCgCgy9H5ESq0WjcueBzz8TVGJ13098QAoKYL
E6EFh4CvH4apU9e2kLKaXogL
=Hl7f
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

George Orwell

2010-09-03 22:06:10 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by Anonymous
Pay attention, I am not Bernd.

I am neither.

But, ask PK who I am.

Ask CatPan, or even Bernd himself!

They will tell you.

According to Marilyn Monroe's official website, she was 5' 5 1/2"
tall, weighed between 115-120 lbs. and measured 37-23-36" or
35-22-35". Short and fat??

Her weight fluctuated all the way up to 140 lbs, and besides, body weight says nothing about body-composition, or somatotype.

So, yes, she was a relatively short endomorph(with characteristic traits - short, tapered limbs, narrow shoulders, wide hips,

etc.) with a high BF percentage.

And the challenge still holds - show me a relatively short(or even average height) male endomorph who can score a

consistently high rating from a significant population of high-rated females, by virtue of his *physical* attractiveness

alone.

To be still more specific, show me an equivalent, internationally renowned endomorphic male sex symbol.

It takes only a rudimentary understanding of sexual evolution to appreciate that females are the limiting sex.

So, you have been misreading the 'vibe' of this group all these years.

It is *females* who are the more contrary party, with respect to privileging their statistical equivalents.

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIDpTxHSUETdEJzmEQLuCgCgy9H5ESq0WjcueBzz8TVGJ13098QAoKYL
E6EFh4CvH4apU9e2kLKaXogL
=Hl7f
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

ThePuttKing

2010-09-04 12:16:38 UTC

Post by George Orwell

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by Anonymous
Pay attention, I am not Bernd.

I am neither.
But, ask PK who I am.

Sorry, I don't know who you are ?

Post by George Orwell
Ask CatPan, or even Bernd himself!
They will tell you.

According to Marilyn Monroe's official website, she was 5' 5 1/2"
tall, weighed between 115-120 lbs. and measured 37-23-36" or
35-22-35". Short and fat??

Her weight fluctuated all the way up to 140 lbs, and besides, body weight says nothing about body-composition, or somatotype.
So, yes, she was a relatively short endomorph(with characteristic traits - short, tapered limbs, narrow shoulders, wide hips,
etc.) with a high BF percentage.
And the challenge still holds - show me a relatively short(or even average height) male endomorph who can score a
consistently high rating from a significant population of high-rated females, by virtue of his *physical* attractiveness
alone.
To be still more specific, show me an equivalent, internationally renowned endomorphic male sex symbol.
It takes only a rudimentary understanding of sexual evolution to appreciate that females are the limiting sex.
So, you have been misreading the 'vibe' of this group all these years.
It is *females* who are the more contrary party, with respect to privileging their statistical equivalents.

George Orwell

2010-09-03 23:52:11 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
I'm going to ignore your flaming me and really try to help you.

It occurs that you are not motivated by selfless concerns, but rather by an agenda to undermine (justified)
female-critical sentiment.

But, it won't work here any more.

This group has since become savvy to such tactics.

Cougars are very relevant, as they get into *relationships* frequently with very young men, so please try to explain away the
popular dichotomy between 'cougars' and 'creepy old men'.

Why do you suppose it is that(in developed populations), young men are far more receptive to older women, than young women
are to older men?

Sadi

2010-09-04 04:55:04 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Sat, 4 Sep 2010 01:52:11 +0200 (CEST), George Orwell

Post by George Orwell
Why do you suppose it is that(in developed populations), young men
are far more receptive to older women, than young women are to
older men?

Because men want 1) sex, 2) relationships. Women want 1)
relationships, 2) sex.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIHRHxHSUETdEJzmEQJh3gCfYqQp7Wmsy/GzgYWa40fSZsZJzPcAnR0u
wTuxSFTb1sJpJuhKr69ACRko
=n3Z1
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Anonymous

2010-09-04 01:06:47 UTC

Proof by assertion, and a non sequitur to boot.

After all these years, it has *still* not occured to you that the prevailing dilemma of local male shybies
is that female signals of interest are *not* forthcoming from even minimally attractive females(given the severy imbalanced state of the mating landscape).

Post by Sadi
P.S. If she's younger than 30 DO NOT ask her out. When we're that
young a guy who's 40 is too old. This age difference changes when a
women is 40+. And please, no excuses re. "cougars". "Cougars" are no
different than male "players". This is a discussion about potential
relationships, not FWB. (Or is it?)
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIFLWhHSUETdEJzmEQL1hgCg5J1OlSqCV4xha99JZ0o4LuBL9SQAoJEc
jFFvDWxTtOzni2hkbMN/AWti
=xsoI
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Sadi

2010-09-04 05:39:35 UTC

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Post by Anonymous
After all these years, it has *still* not occured to you that the
prevailing dilemma of local male shybies is that female signals of
interest are *not* forthcoming from even minimally attractive
females(given the severy imbalanced state of the mating landscape).

No, it's just shy men don't know how to read signals. They interpret
ANY communication from a woman -- even if it's only being friendly,
i.e. just talking to you at the bus stop about the weather -- as
sexual interest. "She's talking to me so she must like/want me."
Whereas a non-shy male knows the difference.

Same as with talking with co-workers. Generally speaking, most chat
in the workplace is just that -- idle chit-chat about whatever,
whether it's a favorite reality TV you both like or the bosses you
both hate. Nothing more. People talk to others just to pass the time.
And we're a sociable people -- we just like to talk to others.

When I was a teenager and in my early 20s I was very shy. I did my
best to send signals to guys I liked. Probably 99.5% of the time they
did nothing about it, or perhaps they weren't interested in me. Back
then I was too shy to ask a guy out. But I'm older now, and have come
to realize that the direct approach is best. Sure, rejection hurts
your pride, but at least you'll know where you stand without
agonizing about it. And then you can move on and direct your
attention to someone else.

Yes, there are women (and men) who play games, and like to lead
someone on but have no intention of ever going out with them. There
are also women (and men) who flirt with EVERYBODY. But, are these the
type of women you want to have a relationship with? They're players.
And even if they DO finally go out with you (though I don't know
anyone this has ever happened to), they'll drop you in a heartbeat
when someone better looking or richer comes along. If you're a nice,
thoughtful guy then you should only be aiming for nice, thoughtful
women. Stay away from teases and bitches. (Note, all my comments in
this thread have been about establishing relationships and dating --
not about trying to get laid.)

I'm a friendly person and talk to people I don't know all the time,
men AND women. Nobody ever misinterprets my being friendly as
anything more then what it is: being friendly. If I want more, then
I'll let it be known. E.g., recently I was in a neighborhood coffee
shop, and I struck up a conversation with another women about
something topical. We both enjoyed the conversation and had some
things in common. I believe we could always use more friends, and
since we live in the same neighborhood I suggested we exchange e-mail
and mobiles. We've exchanged several e-mails since then, and we'll be
getting together soon. Had it been a guy that I was interested in as
a potential boyfriend, I would've been playful and flirty. If he
didn't pick up on my signals, then I would have suggested exchanging
e-mails. I would have known RIGHT THEN AND THERE if this guy was
interested. No thinking about it for months, or even years. SEIZE THE
MOMENT. Or move on. And stop analyzing!

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1

iQA/AwUBTIHbIBHSUETdEJzmEQJ3egCgwtGTNNZjzNHCzTu5J0fzfP5+MAIAmgJX
OKz02M1G5/3GNpo8/224ze05
=Mdaw
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

--
Sadi

PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Pumpkinhead

2010-09-04 09:00:38 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

To think that a woman is sexually interested in you just because she is
being friendly to you actually requires confidence. Something that shy men
tend to lack.

deaf

2010-09-04 12:11:11 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

To think that a woman is sexually interested in you just because she is
being friendly to you actually requires confidence. Something that shy men
tend to lack.

More dissimulation. It doesn't require confidence *only* requires
fantasy like what you showed when you were talking here about the woman
in the bus stop who once looked at you or something similar...someone
who you never even talked to...

ThePuttKing

2010-09-04 12:11:25 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

What do you do if the only signals you get are the friendly ones ?

Post by Sadi
Same as with talking with co-workers. Generally speaking, most chat
in the workplace is just that -- idle chit-chat about whatever,
whether it's a favorite reality TV you both like or the bosses you
both hate. Nothing more. People talk to others just to pass the time.
And we're a sociable people -- we just like to talk to others.
When I was a teenager and in my early 20s I was very shy. I did my
best to send signals to guys I liked. Probably 99.5% of the time they
did nothing about it, or perhaps they weren't interested in me. Back
then I was too shy to ask a guy out. But I'm older now, and have come
to realize that the direct approach is best. Sure, rejection hurts
your pride, but at least you'll know where you stand without
agonizing about it. And then you can move on and direct your
attention to someone else.
Yes, there are women (and men) who play games, and like to lead
someone on but have no intention of ever going out with them. There
are also women (and men) who flirt with EVERYBODY. But, are these the
type of women you want to have a relationship with? They're players.
And even if they DO finally go out with you (though I don't know
anyone this has ever happened to), they'll drop you in a heartbeat
when someone better looking or richer comes along. If you're a nice,
thoughtful guy then you should only be aiming for nice, thoughtful
women. Stay away from teases and bitches. (Note, all my comments in
this thread have been about establishing relationships and dating --
not about trying to get laid.)
I'm a friendly person and talk to people I don't know all the time,
men AND women. Nobody ever misinterprets my being friendly as
anything more then what it is: being friendly. If I want more, then
I'll let it be known. E.g., recently I was in a neighborhood coffee
shop, and I struck up a conversation with another women about
something topical. We both enjoyed the conversation and had some
things in common. I believe we could always use more friends, and
since we live in the same neighborhood I suggested we exchange e-mail
and mobiles. We've exchanged several e-mails since then, and we'll be
getting together soon. Had it been a guy that I was interested in as
a potential boyfriend, I would've been playful and flirty. If he
didn't pick up on my signals, then I would have suggested exchanging
e-mails. I would have known RIGHT THEN AND THERE if this guy was
interested. No thinking about it for months, or even years. SEIZE THE
MOMENT. Or move on. And stop analyzing!
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIHbIBHSUETdEJzmEQJ3egCgwtGTNNZjzNHCzTu5J0fzfP5+MAIAmgJX
OKz02M1G5/3GNpo8/224ze05
=Mdaw
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

George Orwell

2010-09-04 09:20:02 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Excepting Bernd's optimistic bent, I don't know of anyone here who fits this description(PK is, in fact, quite fatalistic on the topic - or hadn't you noticed?).

Perhaps, I'm not paying close enough attention.

And this still doesn't say anything against the real problem being one of reciprocal interest.

Let's switch the topic to getting laid then.

Post by Sadi
I'm a friendly person and talk to people I don't know all the time,
men AND women. Nobody ever misinterprets my being friendly as
anything more then what it is: being friendly. If I want more, then
I'll let it be known. E.g., recently I was in a neighborhood coffee
shop, and I struck up a conversation with another women about
something topical. We both enjoyed the conversation and had some
things in common. I believe we could always use more friends, and
since we live in the same neighborhood I suggested we exchange e-mail
and mobiles. We've exchanged several e-mails since then, and we'll be
getting together soon. Had it been a guy that I was interested in as
a potential boyfriend, I would've been playful and flirty. If he
didn't pick up on my signals, then I would have suggested exchanging
e-mails. I would have known RIGHT THEN AND THERE if this guy was
interested. No thinking about it for months, or even years. SEIZE THE
MOMENT. Or move on. And stop analyzing!

And if there is no moment to seize, or move on to(ie. no suitable prospects), one must engineer the 'moment'.

This can take *time* and effort, and favorable outcomes are by no means certain.

Whether it entails sculpting a superior physique or amassing status, it will involve suppressing handicaps and embellishing
signals of reproductive quality(bounded within biologically determined neighbourhoods that mediate phenotype).

To this end, males are necessarily plastic in their faculty.

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIHbIBHSUETdEJzmEQJ3egCgwtGTNNZjzNHCzTu5J0fzfP5+MAIAmgJX
OKz02M1G5/3GNpo8/224ze05
=Mdaw
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Anonymous

2010-09-04 09:35:18 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Sat, 4 Sep 2010 01:52:11 +0200 (CEST), George Orwell

Post by George Orwell
Why do you suppose it is that(in developed populations), young men
are far more receptive to older women, than young women are to
older men?

Because men want 1) sex, 2) relationships. Women want 1)
relationships, 2) sex.

It is trivial to observe a plethora of mediocre, chronically single women who are unwilling
to trade off their penchant men who are *predictably* high-risk for short-term
engagements(direct benefits/long term mating and genetic benefits/short term mating are conflicted evolutionary strategies that must necessarily trade off some quantity of one for the other, in any given outcome).

If these women had a genuine bias for long-term relationships, they would not be looking for them
with all the wrong men, and in all the wrong places.

But, again, you are posing another non-sequitur in implying that young men are somehow more suitable for a long-term
relationship than older men.

In fact, we should expect the reverse(and in developing populations, that is, indeed, the common assumption held), as the
increased resources, status, and aggregate competency that correlates middle-age lends more strategic value to
long term mating, than qualities which are more characteristic of youth.

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
iQA/AwUBTIHRHxHSUETdEJzmEQJh3gCfYqQp7Wmsy/GzgYWa40fSZsZJzPcAnR0u
wTuxSFTb1sJpJuhKr69ACRko
=n3Z1
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Sadi
PGP key ID: 0xDD109CE6 (sxysadi)

Anonymous

2010-09-04 09:50:26 UTC

Post by Sadi
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
On Sat, 4 Sep 2010 01:52:11 +0200 (CEST), George Orwell

Post by George Orwell
Why do you suppose it is that(in developed populations), young men
are far more receptive to older women, than young women are to
older men?

Because men want 1) sex, 2) relationships. Women want 1)
relationships, 2) sex.

It is trivial to observe a plethora of mediocre, chronically single women who are unwilling
to trade off their penchant men who are *predictably* high-risk for short-term
engagements(direct/genetic benefits are conflicted evolutionary strategies that must
necessarily trade off some quantity of one for the other, in any given outcome).

If these women had a genuine bias for long-term relationships, they would not be looking for them
with all the wrong men, and in all the wrong places.

But, again, you are posing another non-sequitur in implying that young men are somehow more suitable for a long-term
relationship than older men.

In fact, we should expect the reverse(and in developing populations, that is, indeed, the common assumption held), as the
increased resources, status, and aggregate competency that correlates middle-age lends more strategic value to
long term mating, than qualities which are more characteristic of youth.

deaf

2010-09-04 12:24:54 UTC