Post by AntaresSure, but not enough to actively pursue it. She just wasn't ver
attractive to me.
She was hyper-social, in that clannish Indian way--always telling storie
about her second cousin twice removed, or the traditional dances at he
sister's wedding. Also, she had a zillion friends--she'd talk about, say
her two "great friends" from San Francisco that she makes an effort t
meet at least once a year. Or about her good friend from Wisconsin. Or he
slew of good friends in Phoenix. Frankly, I was feeling lost in all tha
crowd. I just don't trust extraverts, is what it comes down to.
Also, she was talkative, but a lot of it was just boring what-I-did- toda
stuff--detailed accounts of shopping trips, or what she cooked for dinner
I would try to shift the conversation onto cultural lines,or political, o
books/art/music. Nada. She wasn't even interested. In
a sense, she helped demystify women for me; I now know that even an
educated, intelligent woman can be very boring!
She also didn't seem particularly into me. This was the confusing
part... she *did* actively try to meet with me a lot (we got together
2-3 times a week), but then she didn't seem that interested in *me*
per se, just in me as an "activity partner." As I said, she was hyper-
social. If she was a shy chick who made an effort to see me, I'd be
far more encouraged, because at least I'd have signs of genuine non-
platonic interest.
She wasn't very romantic. Maybe because she was an engineer. Or it
could be an Indian thing. I asked her a lot of questions about her
life... which she was very happy to answer. But she showed little
reciprocal interest in me.
We did a bunch of "romantic" things, is the funny thing. We sat
together on the beach at night once. Afterward, we had pizza together
at a seaside Greek pub. But at no point did things get really
romantic.
Bottom line, I just wasn't attracted to her. Now, I make no excuses
for being a wuss--if she had come onto *me* physically, I'd have
happily boinked her. So clearly the willingness was there. But her low
attractiveness to me just wasn't sufficient to motivate me to take the
huge (for me) step of initiating anything.
Overall, I played the sickening role of Nice Guy (what else?), but on
a grander scale than ever before. At some point--actually, it was
during that "romantic" night on the beach--I somehow blurted out a
confession that I had never been in a relationship before (it somehow
flowed from the conversation). She seemed surprised. Then I started
feeling resentful towards her, for eliciting that humiliating
confession. And I also felt despair. I was a lot quieter for the rest
of the night.
Before she left for Phoenix, she repeatedly urged me to come see her.
Then, she continued calling me a lot from Phoenix. But she was even
more boring over the phone. So I started not returning her calls, and
now we've lost touch.
Post by AntaresI put my chance of dying a virgin at 75%.
This was a great post, you seem to have learned a lot about women in th
past year. I found your confession to her of no previous relationships ver
painful to read. Something I've noticed about shybies, that on a deep leve
we want other people to know we are different because in a way it feel
like we've been through some kind of hellish war and we want other peopl
to give us some compassion, but at the same time the confession of bein
different gives these normal social people the ammunition to feel superio
to us which is a blow to our pride.
Antares, you've made a lot of progress, you've pushed your limits
you've grown as a person, I don't think you could ask anymore of yoursel
than that. As far as shybies go you are one of the tough ones. I suspec
that you will reach your goal eventually.
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